LOTR Karaoke Dance Party
by MadamStella
Summary: It's a Dance Off in Middle Earth! Aragorn sings his own version of Dancing Queen.... this scares even ME...
1. Shake it, Aragorn!

All of Middle Earth has assembled for Karaoke night at the Prancing Pony. Differences are set aside, the One Ring conflict is placed out-of-the-way for the time being so that all races of Middle Earth can boogie! How's THAT for a funky beginning?  
  
Aragorn approaches the mike. Arwen, Frodo, and the Fellowship cheer him on towards the back of the bar.  
  
"Come on, Aragorn! We believe in you! Soar like the eagle! Be all that you can be! Paint with all the colors of the wind!" chants his entourage.  
  
"This is my favorite song........ Dancing King," Aragorn states bravely.  
  
The Naz - Gul and Sauron in the back of the room look at eachother.  
  
"Isn't that...... 'Dancing Queen'?" asks one of the riders.  
  
The music starts to play. Aragorn clears his throat and -  
  
You can kills orcs! You can kill balrogs! Protecting Frodo and the Fellowhip!  
  
OH-OH-OH!  
  
See that Ranger! Dig that scene! Diggin' the Dancing King! Diggin' Gondor's King!  
  
You're in Rivendell and the lights are low! Looking out for a place to go! With Elrond's Council Everything is keen I come to look for a queen!  
  
Arwen Evenstar's really hot! Got to show her what I got! The blood of Numenor's in me I'm the son of Arathorn! I can get everyone to Lothlorien!  
  
OH - OH - OH!  
  
See that Ranger! Dig that scene! Diggin' the Dancing King! Diggin' Gondor's King!  
  
Gondor's King! Gondor's King! Watch me kill the Urak - Hai!  
  
OH - OH - OH!  
  
Aragorn steps down from the stage. Arwen and the Fellowship cheer, clap, and whistle, while Sauron and his pals say nothing.  
  
"Hey, boss! You should go up there and sing!" one of the rider's says. Sauron thinks a moment before -  
  
"Sure, why not?"  
  
Sauron approaches the stage and takes the mike.  
  
"This little biddy of mine is a favorite of all of us in Mordor. It's called, 'We built the One Ring'."  
  
"Hey," Frodo whispered to Sam, "Isn't that, 'We Built this City?"  
  
Sauron clears his throat. The music starts to play.  
  
We built the One Ring! We built the One Ring with greed and malice! We built the One Ring! We built the One Ring with greed and malice!  
  
Say you don't know me Or recognize my freaky helmet and body armor thing Who rides the wrecking ball for middle earth? Me and the Naz - Gul!  
  
Don't tell us to go away! We'll chop off your head Just look at the village of Roi - Tan We left their villagers dead!  
  
We built the One Ring! We built the One Ring with greed and malice! We built the One Ring! We built the One Ring with greed and malice!  
  
The music ends. The Naz - Gul whistle and applaud noisily.  
  
Sadly, it's ten o' clock. Karaoke Dance Party night is over at the Prancing Pony. But maybe they'll meet again next weekend......... how about Galadriel singing her own version of 'Downtown'? Only time will tell! 


	2. Get out your ripe fruit! Here come GOLLU...

I wasn't too sure if I was going to do a second chappie with this one. But, with all the reviews (Thanks for those!! They really boost my self esteem!!) I think I want to do another one! So, here it is.................  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
The next weekend - karaoke dance night again! As usual, the Fellowship and Sauron and his gang have assembled already at the Prancing Pony. But now, some new faces are added to the crowd: Galadriel and some elves as well as - (and this is a plot twist!!) - Gollum!  
While the elves she walked in with and the Fellowship cheer her on, Galadriel approaches the stage and the mike.  
She clears her throat and picks up the microphone.  
"In the Elvin kingdom of Lothlorien, we have a very old and honorable song referred to, in elfish, as 'Opoagjilasdgjkapsdjgnqyuistinc'."  
"It's such a poetic name! It rolls right off your tongue!" Sam whispered to Frodo.  
"Anyway, in the common tongue, this song is known as 'Downtown', but I shall be singing my very own Elvish version of it............"  
The music starts.  
  
When you're being chased by orcs, and life isn't too happy you can always go to:  
  
LOTHLORIEN!  
  
When you've got worries the elves and the lembas seem to help I know  
  
LOTHLORIEN!  
  
Just listen to the music of the elves Lament for Gandalf, See your fate in my funky pool of water, Celeborn and me  
  
We'll give you lots of cool stuff; cloaks, phials of water, lembas - how can you lose?  
  
LOTHLORIEN! LOTHLORIEN!  
  
We're waiting for yooou - ooooooo! Yoooou - oooooooo!  
  
LOTHLORIEN! LOTHLORIEN!  
  
While the Fellowship and the elves cheer and applaud Galadriel as she steps down from the stage.  
"Hey, she was pretty good," one of the Naz - Gul whispered to Sauron.  
  
"WHAT?!?" Sauron said, glowering at the offending dark rider.  
"Just saying -"  
"I SHALL NOT BE OUT BESTED BY AN ELF!! GET UP THERE AND SING!!" Sauron cried.  
"What - me or everyone?"  
"ALL YOU STUPID NAZ - GUL FREAKS!!!"  
So, all of the stupid Naz - Gul freaks headed up to the stage.  
"Um............ we don't usually do this, being evil dark riders of the night, you see," one of the vile fellows announced into the mike, "So, this is the ancient and most respectable song of the Naz - Gul ~ 'Like a Naz - Gul'."  
"Isn't that 'Like a Virgin'?" Gimli whispered to Legolas. Legolas shrugged.  
The 9 kings started to croon.  
  
You know we couldn't resist them We couldn't resist our rings It's a bummer, now we're undead kings  
  
If only we didn't desire power We had to govern our la - ha - ands And now we ride black horses And stab hobbits  
  
When we get to Bree We kill a watchman The Prancing Pony We stab some beds  
  
Yeah we really like to stab stuff Oh we la - ah - ove to stab stuff Public Property!  
  
LIKE A NAZ - GUL!! Riding for the very first time! LIKE A NAZ NAZ NAZ - GOOOOL! Chasing hobbits through middle earth  
  
OH OH OH!!! WOOOOAOOOW! LIKE A NAZ - GUL!!  
  
There was no contest. Everybody clapped this time, including the Fellowship. You can't argue with good showmanship, you know.  
Suddenly, a freaky emaciated creature crawls up onto the stage, and says, in a hoarse whisper, "I would like to sing a song."  
Everyone in the bar groaned.  
"Who invited HIM?!?"  
"Dude, he can't sing!"  
Gollum took the mike in his hands and coughed slightly.  
"This is a song I wrote while in my cave. I had writer's block for about 600 years, but I overcame it awhile later I hope *SMEAGOL!! SMEAGOL!!* Sorry, just a little cough........... Well, here it is..........."  
"THIS will be interesting," Aragorn said, giggling slightly.  
Gollum put the mike to his icky chops.  
  
Nobody knows where my Precious has gone! But that Baggins left at the same time! Why was it on his finger - When it's supposed to be MINE?!? (my own, my precious........)  
  
IT'S MY RING AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO, CRY IF I WANT TO, CRY IF I WANT TO!! YOU WOULD CRY TOO IF IT HAPPENED TO YOOOOOOOU!!  
  
If only I had it back -  
  
Suddenly, Gollum stops singing. The music ceases. Everyone stares at Gollum.  
"You're a terrible singer! No, I'm not! You are terrible! No, Master likes it! Master is our friend! No, he's not! Go away and never come back! What? Go away and never come -"  
The Prancing Pony Innkeeper came and dragged Gollum off the stage. Everyone, Fellowship, Elves, Saruon, the Naz - Gul ~ everybody cheers.  
Poor Gollum. He's no Elvis. 


End file.
